Chapter 9

The next morning, I went to Ivan’s house. His driver took us to a warehouse. Ivan and I went in. Some big men were waiting for us there already.
Ivan took them to another warehouse which was full of boxes. He opened one and showed them the guns inside. When they are checking the guns, there were sounds of siren.
“Why are the fucking police here? Let’s run away,” one of the big men said. All of them ran away, but Ivan didn’t move.
“Why don’t you run away?” I asked.
“What’s about you? Why don’t you arrest me? It’s good chance now.”
“You already knew!” I said in surprise.
“So, what will you do now? Will you arrest me or let me knock you down and set me free like what you did for that boy?”
I looked him in surprise.
“Are you surprised I know that? I am not stupid. Do you think I would believe that the boy could knock you down because of your carelessness?”
I was still. He knew everything already, but he still let me stay with him. Why? Suddenly, I was afraid of him, because I didn’t know what he was thinking.
“I gave you a lot of chances. I thought you wouldn’t betray me. I believed I could change you. But you disappoint me. I won’t forgive your treachery.” He took out his gun and pointed it at me.
I was shocked. “Calm down, Ivan.” I said.
“How can I be calm? You’ve disappointed me too much.”
“I was really worried about your safety these three years. And I’d like to be your friend, but it only after your mafia disbands and you come out of prison.”
“You must be disappointed. I won’t get into prison and I won’t believe you anymore!” He still pointed at me.
“Even if you shoot me, there is no good in it for you. You’re a smart man. I don’t believe you will shoot.”
“You’re right, I won’t shoot you. But the reason is I love you.”
My eyes grew wide when I heard　that. I even forgot my words. I just looked at him in surprise. The warehouse became very quiet.
I had never been shocked like that before. It was the second time that a man had said he loved me. But he said it full of hate. And with his gun pointed at me. What a strange situation I was in!
“I won’t let you stay with the boy. Let me show you something interesting.” He opened one box. There was a time limited bomb inside.
I was crazy when I saw the time limited was three minutes left. “Stop it!” I shout.
He smiled calmly. “I can’t stop it. I left the remote on my car. I set up the time. If the police won’t come, we can finish the deal and get in my car before it blow up. Then I’ll stop it. But if the police come, we’ll die together here.”
“Are you crazy?” I was afraid of him. I couldn’t believe what he did.
“Yes, I am crazy. Since I found out you and the boy were in love, I have been crazy.”
“We don’t have time to talk about that. We must run away now!”
“No, I won’t go, and won’t let you go. I am tired of this world. Let’s go to the heaven.”
“This is no time to joke. Run, quickly! We don’t have time.”
He smiled. The smile was cold and frightening.
Before I could say anything more, the bomb blew up. I felt somebody protected me before I lost consciousness.
Once I came around, I was in hospital. I saw Bruno sitting beside my bed. “Thank God that you’ve come around. You are in coma for seventy-four hours.”
“What’s about Ivan?” I asked.
“I am sorry, but when we arrived inside, he was dead. You are still alive, because he protected you very well when the bomb blew up.”
I didn’t say a word. I won’t tell Bruno about Ivan’s love for me. I would keep it for a secret all my life. Many years later, when I thought of his love, I thought it was supreme. If I was aware of his love, bad things wouldn’t happen. I felt so sorry for him. I hope he is happy with his mother in heaven.
“By the way, I’d like to tell you that Lawrence is a dead man now and your new identity is James Dominic, a teacher. So people in mafia won’t find you.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you think clearly? Would you really want to live abroad with Rex?”
I nodded. “I have come back alive, so my only one wish now is to live with Rex forever.”
“I see.”
“What about Rex these days?” I asked. “Did he come to see me?”
“Nobody knows you’re still alive, except me. You can call him now, he must be happy, if he knows you are alive.”
“But I’m not sure he wants to see me,” I said a little sad.
“Don’t worry. He just needs time. He’ll accept the whole thing some day.”
“I hope so.”
I stayed in hospital for a week. I dialed to Rex many times, but he didn’t listen. I couldn’t wait. I went to Mr. Thomas’s villa to find him. However, I didn’t know a piece of shocked news was waiting for me.
“Why are you still alive?” Mr. Thomas looked at me in surprise.
“Yes, I am still alive, I have come back alive. Please let me meet Rex.”
He laughed loudly. “You can’t see him again. He is in heaven now.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “You must be joking, Mr. Thomas.”
“I wish I could be just kidding you now. But it’s the truth. He killed himself because the news said you are dead in the bomb.”
“No… no… no!” I couldn’t believe it. How stupid he was!
“If you were alive, why didn’t you come a little early? Why didn’t you come before he killed himself?” He hit me down. “Get out before I kill you!”
I left despairingly. I get in a taxi but I didn’t know where to go. At last, I went to that port town. The seascape was the same as that day, but I was without Rex. My heart was broken. Even to take breath was difficult for me. At that time I knew I loved him not only as a brother but also as a lover.
If I had been able to come back to the past, I would have told l him I loved him. If time could have been able to be reversed, I would have told him I was still alive. If I had been able to know how it would end before, I would have wished we hadn’t met.
Everything was a joke from God. Or it might not a joke; maybe it was a punishment—a punishment for my love, because I was in love with my brother.
The sun was on the sky. The weather was warm, but I felt cold. I screamed as loudly as I could. Tears ran down my cheeks.
That was all fifty-seven yeas ago. Now it is 2067. I am no longer a skillful policeman. I am just an old man and very weak now. Bruno sometimes visited my home over the years. But he died two years ago. Instead of him, his handsome son and lovely granddaughter often come to see me. They always bring me something delicious and help me to clean my house. I am very thankful for it.
Tonight, the moon is very beautiful. I look at it for a while and close the curtain. I’ll go to bed. Before I sleep I always look at Rex’s picture and say good night. Today is the same. Now I am so sleepy. I’d like to close my eyes and have a good, long dream. In my dream, my dear brother is waiting for me and will take me to heaven.


— END—